wat bout pragnant strippers??
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
