remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
