the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
