i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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