I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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