he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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