Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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