I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
