I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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