Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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