weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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