I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
