Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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