There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
