i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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