i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
When are your genitals available?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
