I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
