At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
