He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
