I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
