Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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