i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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