Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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