hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
