i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
where does the pee come out of this thing
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
