I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
