I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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