He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
