guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
