my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
