You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
