I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Dicks are not precious.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
