How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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