we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
