she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
