no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
