Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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