Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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