thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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