im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
