Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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