you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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