I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
