Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
