I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
