so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
