Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I am spending my child support on dildos
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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