Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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