we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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