It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
