Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
