You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
